a mind that keeps me awake at night (2)

I wrote a simple poem about the rubik last year and posted it on here. I refer the rubik as the whole myself. I am still wondering the way to solve the rubik. I keep in mind that the rubik has to be solved. So that i become complete. 

And hey! What if the rubik is not meant to be solved? What if some people are indeed an unsolved rubik? 

Can I stay as an unsolved rubik without stopping to find the way? .mind blowing.

So, days ago, i had the quick conversation with a friend. Seems like we have same concern, but we are clearly different in many ways yet are in the same pace. 

i miss it. i miss intellectual conversation. To talk about everything worthy. wondering about life, to talk what's important in life. 

There comes a time when you feel like you are lost. Simply losing the reason why. To talk to a person with same concern or a person who cares enough, can be much help. To talk with friends about this and that for hours until you reach a conclusion with a form of question. And then you are wondering together about the question. And then you laugh, realizing that life is for living. 

a mind that keeps me awake at night

Lately i find it hard to sleep in peace. to sleep without having to think about things. to sleep without having to listen to what my mind's thinking. 

Rather than typing like this, i used to write down what i was thinking on papers. a lot of papers. It usually became full of doodles and words. It became meaningless when i read em in the next day.

I usually wonder about people, world, with 5W+1H questions. 

I sometime had myself write the sentences that came up after long contemplating. I may forget it soon, so i feel like i have to write it down.

Lately, i am thinking about the past. More like how to forget the past. People tend to think a lot about their past. They may have decided on things in the past. But the past is the past. There were decisions you made, and you can't do much about them. OId people (or people who has passed their younger years), often find themselves regret on things they have done or they haven't done. They find their dreams are fading. But do they realize that they still got time and faith? 

Or maybe there was something hurts them. The feeling of hurt itself will not just disappear as time goes on. There are so many people who claim they cannot forget the past. That the past is still haunting them. Of course they cannot forget the past. Because you cannot choose to forget the past but you can choose to forgive. Why forgiving? sometimes we forgot it's not the event that haunting us, it is the pain. We want to cure the pain. And the key is forgiving. Forgiving yourself, then someone else. The event will be still there, but it will transform into something from which we can learn.

I overthink sometimes. and i feel tired of it. Because somehow i realize that maybe there are things that do not need to be answered. Or maybe we just have to enjoy the questions. Because i often reach the conclusion in a form of question. Yes, just enjoy the question.